Feel free to skip this post because it looks to be mostly a downer. But this blog is supposed to be about all our experiences while adopting and this is a major part of the process.

I am sad. I am anxious. I am so ready for my little ones to be home. Right now we are still waiting to hear from our court date. This wait is affecting me more than I thought it would. We’re at that stage in the process where we could hear any day now or it could be weeks more. That is killing me.

Last night I dreamed that our day had come and we were on our way to pick them up. Because a dream is sometimes also a fantasy, they were only an hour away instead of an ocean. Lew and I were so excited, running around putting stuff in the car and just giddy with expectation. All I could think was in a few hours Gigi and Arthur will be home in my arms. It was so close! The joy I felt in that dream is indescribable. Then, I started to wake up. The disappointment I felt as I slowly came back to consciousness is, also, indescribable. The waking knowledge that it will still be months before we’re together is hard. It’s just hard.

I thought it was difficult stressing over paperwork. I thought it was tough getting all kinds of needles shoved into all kinds of places. But this waiting is tough. It is so much tougher than I imagined. My heart breaks for those families who have been waiting years for their babies. I honestly don’t know how they do it. I do, however, know why they do it. And I know, one day soon, this waiting will be worth it. It will be so worth it. I am just ready for that day! It will come. I will wait. I will stress, but I will wait. And then I will actually go get my babies. It will be a reality and it will be sweeter than any dream or fantasy. And it will be forever.

But there is also some good news! I heard yesterday that Arthur and Gigi are now living in a foster home. This is great news. I am very excited about the attention they will receive there and I am thrilled to know they are together! I am super jealous of the foster parents who get to love and cuddle them but mostly I am just so thankful for their willingness to care for my babies until I can. Please pray for this foster family and Gigi and Arthur as they prepare to come home. And pray that we pass court SOON so I can go ahead and start stressing over the next part of the process.