Hey y’all! Still no news but I wanted to take a minute to explain what we would be doing when we FINALLY get back home with our children! I will be updating this blog to let y’all know when we do finally receive their visas but then I’ll be quiet for a while as we prepare to travel and until we get back. I’m just not comfortable putting too much information on the internet while we are away. I might even take it down temporarily until we get back. So, don’t be surprised if I suddenly disappear. That would actually be a good sign.
I will continue to blog, as time permits, while we are preparing to and/or traveling but I won’t be publishing the posts until we get back. So, eventually you’ll be able to read all about it but it may not be for awhile. Sorry for that but I know y’all understand!
And while I’m disappointing people, I’ll go ahead and discuss briefly what our life will be like once we’re back home. Those of you in the adoption word know immediately what I mean when I say that, for the next few weeks and months, [L], [A], [G], and I will be cocooning. This means that we will be spending time alone at home with basically no interaction with the outside world. It’s not quite as drastic as it sounds, but yes, it does mean no visits from family and friends. We are super excited about the life that we are about to embark upon with our precious children but we are in no way blind to the struggles we are also going to deal with. Our initial transition time is going to be very crucial with the kids. We have been waiting and praying for this day for a year now but they are going to be surprised by so very much. Even if/though they have a concept about what’s about to happen, they surely have no idea how unfamiliar their world will be in the next few weeks. And it is going to take time to get used to.
And aside from the new home, food, smells, language, pets, and white people, [A] and [G] are also going to have to learn what it means to be a family. We know a little about their family background but we really have no idea what their day to day life has been like for the past 4 years. We do know that they have not been in a stable home environment for over 2 years for sure. They have been in an orphanage, in a foster home, and now in the transition house. They have had many caregivers over the years and it will be difficult for them, at first, to understand that we are their permanent parents. So we will cocoon until they do.
Cocooning is recommended by adoption professionals because, so often, orphaned children have never had the chance to develop trust in a parent and need the time to learn that there is a PERSON who will continually meet their physical and emotional needs. Because they are often used to many caregivers, it’s not uncommon for them to look to extended family members or even strangers as possible “need-meeters.” We need [A] and [G] to understand that we are theirs. We are their PERSONS who will always meet their needs and always be their parents. We need them to learn to go to us for food, and drink, and hugs, and comfort. Most newborns, when they need food or changing or attention, can cry and attentive mommies and daddies will run to meet their every need. They grow up knowing that they can count on their PERSONS in every situation and they easily develop trust with their parents. But when young children do not have their needs met consistently, it’s much harder for them to trust and attach. And those who have lived in an institutional setting, like an orphanage, grow to learn that any adult can meet their needs. Unfortunately for [A] and [G], they have already experienced a revolving door of caregivers. At this point in their young lives, they have no reason to believe that we are for real. That we aren’t going anywhere. That we are their PERSONS. The time we spend cocooning will be when they *hopefully* start to figure it out. We need them to attach to us. We need them to realize that we are their parents and they are our children. Forever.
So, for us that means lots of one on one time with 2 of the cutest kiddos in the world! Yay for us! But what does it mean for all you wonderful family and friends who have supported and prayed for us along the way? Well, unfortunately for you, it means that it will still be awhile before you’ll be able to meet these fabulous children of ours. I know that’s tough to hear but it’s what’s best for [A] and [G] and I know that is what we all want. Please understand that we are not shutting anyone out and we love and appreciate each and every one of you. But our main focus once we get home, right after getting some SLEEP, will be helping [A] and [G] transition as easily as possible to their brand new life. Your prayers will be more powerful than your hugs at that point and I wholeheartedly hope that you will give them. And eventually, you’ll get the opportunity to meet our two blessings and I cannot wait for that day. I am completely overwhelmed by the love that has been shown to us and them throughout this process and I thank God for you all!
And please keep praying for our visas! We are supposed to get an update today and we are hoping and praying for some GREAT news. This wait is getting incredibly difficult right now. We are so very anxious to go and get them and waiting for this last piece of the puzzle is driving us nuts!